Fleur de Aleta

We are going to my grandmother's home in Zachary, LA (country land outside of Baton Rouge).  My Dad's side of the family hasn't seen our son, other than my grandmother (my son's only living great grandparent).  I'm sure Gregory will be passed from arm to arm :) In the meantime, here are some Easter pictures to share.  When I took the pictures, Greg Sr. said, "I have to stop this."  But he was smiling and helped me with the pictures. I sent out birth announcements and these two pictures were on them.  I couldn't resist :) Wishing you and yours a Happy Easter!

I wasn't the perfect daughter, sibling or wife.  I won't be the perfect mommy.  I never expect to be, though I want to be the perfect mommy for our son.  Judgment is passed so easily from others, if I'm doing the right things by him, even the right things by me.  I never realized that being a mommy suddenly puts you under the microscope. I think moms are hard enough on themselves already without the social scrutiny and stone throwing. And even though I'm sleep deprived, working through baby blues and recovering from surgery, the only person on this earth that I feel won't judge me and loves me right now and in this moment without seeing my faults and finding me lacking.. is my son.  My beautiful sweet angel. Thank you, my little boy, for loving me without judgement.  I'm sure one day there will come a time when you too will join the ranks and judge me, but for now, I'll treasure these times of pure love.  If we could all be a little more heaven s...

I'm so incredibly sad.  I just can't imagine what Erica must be going through.  My cousin, Kevin, and his girlfriend were pregnant the same time I was... their due date was 2 months after mine. She had a difficult pregnancy with constant morning, noon, night sickness.  She wanted a little girl and found out that's what they were expecting.  They had her name picked out. Erica was 31 weeks pregnant when she was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, due to preeclampsia. I was so shocked when they released her after keeping her in the hospital for a couple of days.  It seemed the blood pressure scare at such an early point in her pregnancy.. that they would keep her longer or schedule a c section, but they didn't... Erica and my cousin went home and had a follow up doctor's appointment.  They lost their baby, being called stillbirth because she was that far into the pregnancy.   It broke my heart to hear the news.  They had to do a c section...

One of the bloggers listed those "Five Friday Question" things and one of the questions.. can't remember the exact question... but the question went along the lines of "What is something you wish you didn't have to teach you child?" For me.. I wish I'd never have to teach my little boy about why people are cruel.  I want to wrap him in a bubble and keep him safe from the world.  I know that's not possible.  I know one day someone will say something mean or hurtful to him and I will go all Momma Bear.

Yesterday, Gregory made one month old.  It feels like yesterday that we brought him home.  He has grown so much already. For his one month old, Gregory showered me with projectile spit up.. I think it was the entire bottles worth.  Then, he gave me this look..... He looks like he's saying, "Sorry Mommy."  And after that.... a bunch of smiles... I couldn't leave out this last picture.... I call it the "Elvis grin"

My husband asked me, "What do you like most about being a Mom?" I replied, "I love holding the baby when he is sleeping."  It's a peaceful feeling. My husband was a little surprised.  He said, "I thought you would say that you love that he's like a doll or that you have the responsibility of raising a baby." I don't remember playing with a lot of baby dolls when I was little (Barbie dolls, now that's different) and I wasn't around a lot of babies when I was growing up.  I don't see Gregory as a doll.  He's a living being. As for the responsibility, that scares the daylights out of me.  I worry about raising him properly, about making sure he knows how much he is loved, about being able to guide him spiritually, to know that he will enjoy his childhood, to be sure he develops a love of education, I pray he falls in love and is loved in return and has a good, healthy, happy life. All those things I want f...

Scare at hospital One thing I didn't mention in the birth story was a scare that took place in the hospital after our son was born.  This was when we were in the post partum room.  We woke up around 3am.  Greg decided to go home to take care of our pets and take a shower.  This was the day after I had just taken my first steps out of the bed, so I was still on pain medicine and barely able to walk. About twenty minutes after Greg left, a nurse from the nursery came in and said she was there to take our baby.  I asked her why.  She said that my husband called the nursery for them to take the baby so we could get some sleep.  This sounded like something Greg would do but I still called his cell.  There was no answer.  He was either outside running the dog or in the shower. The nurse wheeled the baby out of our room.  I waited a few moments and called our home and this time Greg answered.  I asked if he call...

I went to my first follow up Gyn appointment last week.  Dr Wild still thinks I should consider taking the anti depressant, Zoloft, which she said is the standard for baby blues and is a low dosage.  But I don't want to take the medicine unless necessary.  I guess how I handle sleep deprivation at this point will be the determining factor. We also talked about breast pumping for milk.  I told her about the limited supply that I'm producing and she recommended stopping pumping.  Dr Wild said that while a woman is pumping, her body is in menopause mode, a contributor to the baby blue hormones.  It will still take a month to get the ovary hormones to kick in, but at least I'm starting on that month wait now by discontinuing the breast pump.  Dr Wild won’t release me to normal activity until she does a pelvic exam in four weeks.  Hopefully all goes well when I see her again, including the emotions... Which I do believe is gett...

Normally I can't sing on tune to save my soul. But this is a song my mom used to sing to me when I was a little girl. I had it memorized when I was little.... and surprised myself to remember it well enough to sing to my son. I sent a text message to my husband of me singing and he texted back, "Omg!!! That was PERFECTLY on key and SO sweet." Made me smile... so if your ears aren't too sensitive...   To open the video in YouTube, click here.

I love seeing his grey/blue eyes in the morning. Love seeing the smiles Below - first time visiting Oma and Opa's house (my parents go by the German name for grandmother and grandfather) Love the tender moments These are the pictures that I adore seeing and there's more on my Picasa site.  I wanted to start this blog post with these wonderful pictures, because it helps to keep me focused.  But at the same time, I want to keep this blog real and share experiences in the hopes that it might help someone who will be going through what I did... and that means writing about the c-section and baby blues. My husband doesn't like long posts and my posts for those two topics are long.  So, what I did, in order not to clutter this post is to "bury" the c-section and baby blues post into my blog.  If you are interested (and have the time) in reading them, click the below links to get to the posts: C-Section Baby Blues