Which Came First
This post will have adult content, no cuss words, but the content is adult. It’s all biological stuff, but I know many readers have children and I want to give fair warning if a child is around.
Given that Greg brought the topic up at a posh restaurant with some friends over supper, I figure it’s OK to oh, share with my blog friends!
This past week was my doctor week. I can’t stand taking off work for appointments and if I have the appointments strewn throughout the year, it’s most likely I’ll find a reason to cancel or forget. But if I have it all done within one week, it’s harder to ignore. These appointments include: female visit, primary care, eye exam, hearing exam and also a visit to the DMV for a renewed driver’s license. Each is a story in and of itself, but one in particular….
I went to the female doctor. No, I won’t go into the details of such. My doctor asked if Greg and I were planning on having a family and about our ages. She mentioned the tick-tock of the biological clock and advised that we should get tested to consider for future options. Well, I was all about testing this week, so figured why not? I had to get my thyroid test done anyway, because I have hypothyroidism, so why not look at the hormones as well?
What I didn’t expect was for her to come back with other information, such as me needing to get a mammogram (never had one and I’m turning 39 on Tuesday, Oct 28th). I figured I had until the age of 40 to go through that misery.
When I came home, I told Greg about the visit and… how to say this delicately? I handed him a container with a yellow lid and his name along the side and said, “Doc said he needs a sample.” He looked at me incredulously and replied, “Of what?!” When I explained, he said, “No way is someone going to look at my squiggles.”
Greg did eventually come around to the idea, but then I read the instructions (yes, instructions). He has to bring the container to the research place within an hour and keep the container close to his body for body temperature. Ok, that sounds doable, with Greg saying, “I’m not handing it over to anyone. Did they give a bag to put this in? You give it to them!”
As I said, he was open to the idea, but only after some hilarious remarks and some totally crass ones, such as, looking sweet at me and saying, “When I look deep into your eyes, you make me.., you make me want to fill up a cup.” I had to bust out laughing! Greg said, “I’m glad you get my sense of humor.”
It was towards the end of the day and I wanted to find out the directions to where the research place was; I called and asked. The lady who answered the phone immediately said, “Do you have an appointment?”
I replied, “No Ma’am, but this is to drop off a.. umm..”
She responded, “You MUST have an appointment.”
I insisted, “But this isn’t for a doctor visit, this is just to drop off a container.”
She would not budge, “Yes, you need an appointment for that.”
I could have sworn we were having communication problems at this point, “Just to drop off something? Really?”
Then she explained, “It takes me 3 hours to work on the sample. It’s already 4pm and we leave at 5pm.”
I’m a little slow sometimes, “So, you’re telling me that he needs an appointment to drop off the sample.”
She continued, “The next available time is on Tuesday.”
I hung up the phone and shook my head. No way would a man want to go through this and keep it close to his body and drop it off within an hour AND do it on a time schedule! I can just picture Tuesday, “OK Honey, the appointment is for 2pm, so at 1pm, go on and get busy!” Yeah. Not. I didn’t make the appointment for Greg.
Greg said, “Do you think this is what they did in the olden days? They didn’t have a plastic cup in front of them. No, they just tried and tried until they got it done. That’s the beauty of s.e.x.”
Greg’s view of doctors and prescriptions and whatnots aren’t good as it stands. As he says, “How is it that with modern technology the way it is, all of the procedures doctors can do these days, but we can’t cure something like the common cold or cure diabetes?! They don’t want to cure these things because it makes more money to give the patients pills that will keep the disease in check but not cure it and in the meantime give you more side affects that need more prescriptions.”
I’m not disagreeing, after all if we can make a cat glow in the dark (have you read that article?), why can’t we cure illnesses? Then again, I also believe that science isn’t a science. It’s a trial and error thing that we drift through. We put a lot of faith in doctors, because we have to.
Ok, another funny story… Rob and Roda were at a restaurant. The waitress came over to ask if they needed anything. Roda asked for a “tissue.” The waitress was a little confused and then said, “Oh! You need a napkin.” She left to get the linen. Roda turned to Rob and emphatically said, “When you go to the Philippines NEVER ask for a napkin!” Rob asked why and Roda replied, “Because they’ll think you’re asking for a Sanitary Napkin!” Oh the joys of communication.
To totally change the subject or maybe get back to the original thought ~ which came first, the chicken or the egg, maybe we should ask these guys? (Picture taken at Lafrienere Park of roosters and hens)
Given that Greg brought the topic up at a posh restaurant with some friends over supper, I figure it’s OK to oh, share with my blog friends!
This past week was my doctor week. I can’t stand taking off work for appointments and if I have the appointments strewn throughout the year, it’s most likely I’ll find a reason to cancel or forget. But if I have it all done within one week, it’s harder to ignore. These appointments include: female visit, primary care, eye exam, hearing exam and also a visit to the DMV for a renewed driver’s license. Each is a story in and of itself, but one in particular….
I went to the female doctor. No, I won’t go into the details of such. My doctor asked if Greg and I were planning on having a family and about our ages. She mentioned the tick-tock of the biological clock and advised that we should get tested to consider for future options. Well, I was all about testing this week, so figured why not? I had to get my thyroid test done anyway, because I have hypothyroidism, so why not look at the hormones as well?
What I didn’t expect was for her to come back with other information, such as me needing to get a mammogram (never had one and I’m turning 39 on Tuesday, Oct 28th). I figured I had until the age of 40 to go through that misery.
When I came home, I told Greg about the visit and… how to say this delicately? I handed him a container with a yellow lid and his name along the side and said, “Doc said he needs a sample.” He looked at me incredulously and replied, “Of what?!” When I explained, he said, “No way is someone going to look at my squiggles.”
Greg did eventually come around to the idea, but then I read the instructions (yes, instructions). He has to bring the container to the research place within an hour and keep the container close to his body for body temperature. Ok, that sounds doable, with Greg saying, “I’m not handing it over to anyone. Did they give a bag to put this in? You give it to them!”
As I said, he was open to the idea, but only after some hilarious remarks and some totally crass ones, such as, looking sweet at me and saying, “When I look deep into your eyes, you make me.., you make me want to fill up a cup.” I had to bust out laughing! Greg said, “I’m glad you get my sense of humor.”
It was towards the end of the day and I wanted to find out the directions to where the research place was; I called and asked. The lady who answered the phone immediately said, “Do you have an appointment?”
I replied, “No Ma’am, but this is to drop off a.. umm..”
She responded, “You MUST have an appointment.”
I insisted, “But this isn’t for a doctor visit, this is just to drop off a container.”
She would not budge, “Yes, you need an appointment for that.”
I could have sworn we were having communication problems at this point, “Just to drop off something? Really?”
Then she explained, “It takes me 3 hours to work on the sample. It’s already 4pm and we leave at 5pm.”
I’m a little slow sometimes, “So, you’re telling me that he needs an appointment to drop off the sample.”
She continued, “The next available time is on Tuesday.”
I hung up the phone and shook my head. No way would a man want to go through this and keep it close to his body and drop it off within an hour AND do it on a time schedule! I can just picture Tuesday, “OK Honey, the appointment is for 2pm, so at 1pm, go on and get busy!” Yeah. Not. I didn’t make the appointment for Greg.
Greg said, “Do you think this is what they did in the olden days? They didn’t have a plastic cup in front of them. No, they just tried and tried until they got it done. That’s the beauty of s.e.x.”
Greg’s view of doctors and prescriptions and whatnots aren’t good as it stands. As he says, “How is it that with modern technology the way it is, all of the procedures doctors can do these days, but we can’t cure something like the common cold or cure diabetes?! They don’t want to cure these things because it makes more money to give the patients pills that will keep the disease in check but not cure it and in the meantime give you more side affects that need more prescriptions.”
I’m not disagreeing, after all if we can make a cat glow in the dark (have you read that article?), why can’t we cure illnesses? Then again, I also believe that science isn’t a science. It’s a trial and error thing that we drift through. We put a lot of faith in doctors, because we have to.
Ok, another funny story… Rob and Roda were at a restaurant. The waitress came over to ask if they needed anything. Roda asked for a “tissue.” The waitress was a little confused and then said, “Oh! You need a napkin.” She left to get the linen. Roda turned to Rob and emphatically said, “When you go to the Philippines NEVER ask for a napkin!” Rob asked why and Roda replied, “Because they’ll think you’re asking for a Sanitary Napkin!” Oh the joys of communication.
To totally change the subject or maybe get back to the original thought ~ which came first, the chicken or the egg, maybe we should ask these guys? (Picture taken at Lafrienere Park of roosters and hens)
Comments
oh and gregs car jacking joke above: also quite funny.
:)
They should have told you PRIOR about needing the appointment for drop-off.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I thought that was funny. It was a good thing they got it tested too....there was nothing there unfortunately. :(
I kind of agree with Lauren here. There might not even be a need for him to do the test. Maybe just see what happens for a little while first. Have fun trying and thanks for the reminder about mammograms. I must go and have one myself.
But in all honesty I'm a firm believer in fate. There are certain things I just don't want to know. If you find out there is a problem, then you will start out the process discouraged. And a lot of times those tests mean nothing. Sometimes they say people have issues and they wind up pregnant. Some people can't get pregnant and they can't find anything wrong with them.
Oh and I totally do the week of appointments too with one difference. I book a day at the spa for that week as a reward :)
Thanks for visiting BK!
Heard on FM Radio in Mumbai: Radio DJ: 'What came first? Chicken or Egg?' Answer: 'Whatever you ordered first!'
Vivek
And Greg you are hilarious.
First, great idea for doing all the doctor visits around your birthday time. Second, on my blog (left hand column) I have a link to an article that says you are the smartest at 39 - so its going to be a great year for you. My sisters birthday is on Tuesday too!!
I think its a great idea to get tested simply because if having a family is important then its best to know ASAP if there are issues. Its just a shame that it becomes all a bit impersonal and transactional.
I think you should take it in for Greg too - in a paper bag, he he. I mean often they ask guys to provide the sample while at the doctors office and just give them some Playboys to read to help things along. Talk about performance anxiety..
As for having an appointment - that is strange. You will have to tell us why later.
I'm still laughing about the car jacking except I can see Greg being carted off by the police...oh imagine trying to explain that one - life is funny.
Have a great week you two!
I like the one on the napkin and here in Malaysia we call it tissue too. Haven't tried asking for a napkin.
It's a huge decision, and those who really want to parent will go through just about anything to get "there". I hope that it all works out for you. Love your sense of humor! :-)
ps.... Thanks for your supportive comment on my blog earlier today (the Tony story). That was an awful day for me, not to mention Tony. But hopefully, all the positives overcame the negatives.
Gives a whole new meaning to car jacking! WOOT!
Napkins? Reminds me of someone I knew, who as a little boy, when asked to put the napkins out for the huge family Thanksgiving dinner, did so. And since he had been shopping with his mother only the day before, and he could read by golly, he searched high and low for that box of napkins and arranged them quite nicely at each place around the table, thank you very much! Needless to say, his mother was beyond embarrassed!
Have a great day! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY (early)
Have a great day!
~K
I'd try the old fashion way first and if that doesn't work then go for testing. And at your age you still have some time. I didn't have The Little Miss until I was 40.
Good luck!!!
I agree with Greg. Doctors are holding out on us. I know for a fact that many drug companies "court" doctors, enticing them to prescribe their drugs. I'm not saying all doctors are like this, but there are plenty into it for the perks.
Have a good evening - Kellan
Happy Birthday!