Monday, April 8, 2013


Holly, my cousin from Maryland, came to visit for a week.  She stayed with us and very generously offered to take the majority of the night shifts for taking care of our baby.  It was a relief and helped a great deal in recovering from sleep deprivation.

Below is a picture of Holly holding Gregory.

Holly has three children, two daughters in college and a son in high school.  She has a lot to be proud of as her children are amazing.  Her son, Michael, joined her on this trip to New Orleans.  I was impressed with how much of a gentleman Michael has turned into, holding open doors, being very considerate and thoughtful of his words and reactions.

My cousin and I have been good friends ever since... well, we were babies :)  Our mothers were very close and Holly would come to spend the entire summers with us (summers lasted forever in a child's mind).

It was good to catch up on life, though we typical correspond weekly via email.  We talked about the use of Zoloft and the potential that it could help me past the anxiety of being a first time parent.

Holly surprised me when she said, “I know that if I were to have a child at my age (she’s one year younger than I am), I’d be freaking out!”

I asked, “Why would you freak out?  You’ve raised three children.”

She responded, “I had my three children when I was in my early twenties.  I had a lot more energy back then.  It would be more difficult now.”

This same feeling was confirmed with my mom’s neighbor.  I was walking Gregory in a stroller on my mom’s street and the next-door neighbor, Vicki, came out to greet our son.  Vicki said, “I adopted our daughter when she was a baby and I was in my late thirties.  I totally understand what you are going through.”

It’s nice to know there are women who can relate and I don’t feel so alone about it.  I have to admit, family and friends have really come through for us.  I appreciate it so much.


Cheryl said...

I wonder if women would really be freaking out if they had found out they were having a baby later in life. I was 21 and 23 but that is just how our family came. Had I not of met and married young, had waited until I was in my late 30's I wouldn't of had a clue to what being a mom at 23 felt like. My mother-in-law had my husband at 40 and she always seemed as young as the other mothers, although clearly she couldn't of been. I think the right time to have a baby is the time you are happy to have a baby.
Maybe the 20 somethings can deal with the sleep deprivation a tad better but they don't have your wisdom or your life experience.

I think it is nice that your cousin gave you a bit of a catch up on your sleep. How sweet she and her son are.

Glynis Jolly said...

I have to agree with your friends and family. Having a baby to take care of in your late 30s or in your 40s would be way too difficult for me. Of Course, I have already had a baby (way back in my 20s) so I might feel different if I didn't have my son.

Cyndy Newsome said...

The mere thought of having a baby now exhausts me. I'll be 40 next month. My new hubby would love to have a baby, but I can't do it. Not just because my tubes are tied but I just can't imagine that physical and emotional exhaustion at this point in my life.
So don't beat yourself up! And take those breaks any time you can get them! =)

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

Thankyou so much for your kind words and continuing support on my own blog, so much appreciated.

Lilly said...

I loved Cheryl's comment Aleta. There is no right time but II have a friend who had a daughter at 22 and a son at 41. She said that she felt better about her second baby because they had more stability in their lives. Babies bring huge changes no matter when they come. It isn't easy so accept any offers of help and rest all you can. You will be sleep deprived not to mention anything else. it is amazing how little sleep we can survive on. You have wonderful families and I bet they are champing at the bit to spend time with that gorgeous son of yours.

Lilly said...

I forgot to say I love the pic of you both. You look a very contented mother.