Paint balling, etc., is what's so much better than what normally might take place. Call me old fashioned, but when a man is preparing to take a woman to be his wife for the rest of his life, there's no such thing as, "It's ok if it's just this one last night..."
Leave off the strippers or the massage or the porn movie - just have fun that you wouldn't mind if it were published in the paper the next day. And never participate in a bachelor party that would hurt your beloved.
For heavens sake, he has been a bachelor all these years, its not as if he has suddenly become one and needs to celebrate.... If he didnt have one all these years, he shouldnt have one now...:-)
That's definitely a loaded question! I've never been against them necessarily, but I do think The Bachelor needs to be respectful of his future wife and not engage in any behavior that could be construed as questionable!
My opinion is that the groom should think of something meaningful to him as a "rite of passage" experience that leaves his singleness behind. It's imporant to acknowledge those big moments in our lives (without Animal House Reprise! lol)
BTW, I think it's important for a woman to do something meaningful too...
I don't know if its just some friends taking him out for drinks and laughs then thats ok. Anything else is just childish and unecessary. That's my take on it anyway!! I wouldnt worry though!
I don't mind a bit of 'good clean fun'. A group of blokes I knew did embarrassing, silly things like go through the Macca's drive-through without a car. Silly, harmless good fun with a few mates.
... and definitely no eyebrow shaving, shackles or strippers. Nope, nothing permanent or what I would not marry him after!
A bunch of blokes getting together for a party ! And thats about it. And just before marriage...well, its just a mindset !
Post the marriage, such parties will happens as well. But then, with the occassional glances into watches !
Give every chap his due !
Anonymous said…
I don't like the idea of strippers/exotic dancers.
as tina fey put it in the latest issue of vanity fair "that whole industry should die out. we should all be a little bit better than that."
personally speaking, i trust my husband and dont think that he'd do anything with a stripper/dancer, but i still think its disrespectful. not just to me, but for the dancers. if i knew my husband was watching that, i'd think a bit less of him. i dont want to think a bit less of him.
I'm with most everyone else here. First, I think Greg thinks enough of you that he wouldn't do anything stupid, disrespectful to you, or something he would regret doing. That being said, I think men often have a very skewed idea of what is disrespectful to their wife. Skewed as in much, much different than women's opinions of what is disrespectful!
Anyhooo, second, in general, men often don't think things through real well, and get them with a whole bunch of other men who don't think things through real well, and trouble will brew. It's best to just keep them out of the situation to begin with, and avoid any potential problems!
Third, I agree with Tammie - I'd think a whole lot less of my husband if he engaged in many of the behaviors that often happen at these things, and although I'd hate thinking less of him, I would, because he would have put himself below my standard of what a good man is.
Interesting question...personally I don't think they have to be 'what they are portrayed as' in movies and that they are fun if taylored to the individual!
I don't have a problem with bachelor parties. I guess if you don't trust them to behave, then maybe you should rethink the relationship in the first place. It's kind of just a dumb tradition if you ask me. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about and it's a one time thing, so don't sweat it!!
You should have a bachelorette party the same night!! Get the girls together and have some fun!
Never had one but been to a few. I think they were a test of temptation. May explain why i never had one, my fingers are aolways in the cookie jar HA HA HA
I guess its a way to say goodbye to the single life and the wedding party is to usher in a new and stronger life.
I think there okay. Both marriages of mine, we had a couple's party. Instead of each of us having our own bachelor/bachelorette party, we held one party for both. I think it was fun.
Would he be okay with you having a bachelorette party where the same type thing was going on that is going to happen at his bachelor party? That's the standard. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If he can't take the idea of you doing whatever, then he shouldn't be doing that to you.
My ex's "so called friends" took him to a strip club and one of the dancer's french kissed his ear and rubbed up against him. Gaaaak! He didn't tell me that for several years after we were married. I told him he was a nutcase, turned out he really was.
i personally think bachelor parties are more for the friends then the soon to no longer be bachelor.
but i agree with the others that greg respects you enough not to do anything stupid...although i'm thinking that my answer to this is a little late, because i think today was the big day??? :)
If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough not to need a night out drinking and messing with strippers. If it's just poker and hanging out, it's one thing. I don't buy into this "last night of freedom" crap.
I'm ok with them as long as they don't invole any penis party favors or walking around with a veil on into bars. I'm more the quiet close friends for a nice dinner/drinks kinda gal.
Anonymous said…
I don't mind them, but I'm pretty open minded anyways.
I told Mr. C that if we do ever get married, I'd love to fly our wedding party out to Vegas for our bachelor/ bachelorette parties. Not sure if it would happen, but I'm sure it'd be something we'd never forget!
Bachelor/bachelorette parties? Been there, done that -- several times actually. They have lost their appeal.
On a totally unrelated note: my daughter's name is Aleta. It's also my sister's name and my aunt's name. Hard to find anybody else in the world with this name, which is one reason I love it so.
my nubby and I spent the night before our wedding together with friends. We had lots of fun. I think him going out with the guys is fine but I'm not too much for strippers and such.
Comments
Paint balling, etc., is what's so much better than what normally might take place. Call me old fashioned, but when a man is preparing to take a woman to be his wife for the rest of his life, there's no such thing as, "It's ok if it's just this one last night..."
Leave off the strippers or the massage or the porn movie - just have fun that you wouldn't mind if it were published in the paper the next day. And never participate in a bachelor party that would hurt your beloved.
you've got to remeber that I'm 50, and pretty quiet and conservative.
I wouldn't want to be engaged to someone who wanted to have one.
Marrying me should be fun - not an excuse to go get drunk and have strippers and commiserate the loss of your freedom...
Just my take on it... I know some people love them.
My opinion is that the groom should think of something meaningful to him as a "rite of passage" experience that leaves his singleness behind. It's imporant to acknowledge those big moments in our lives (without Animal House Reprise! lol)
BTW, I think it's important for a woman to do something meaningful too...
... and definitely no eyebrow shaving, shackles or strippers. Nope, nothing permanent or what I would not marry him after!
Post the marriage, such parties will happens as well. But then, with the occassional glances into watches !
Give every chap his due !
as tina fey put it in the latest issue of vanity fair "that whole industry should die out. we should all be a little bit better than that."
personally speaking, i trust my husband and dont think that he'd do anything with a stripper/dancer, but i still think its disrespectful. not just to me, but for the dancers. if i knew my husband was watching that, i'd think a bit less of him. i dont want to think a bit less of him.
Anyhooo, second, in general, men often don't think things through real well, and get them with a whole bunch of other men who don't think things through real well, and trouble will brew. It's best to just keep them out of the situation to begin with, and avoid any potential problems!
Third, I agree with Tammie - I'd think a whole lot less of my husband if he engaged in many of the behaviors that often happen at these things, and although I'd hate thinking less of him, I would, because he would have put himself below my standard of what a good man is.
~K
You should have a bachelorette party the same night!! Get the girls together and have some fun!
I think they were a test of temptation.
May explain why i never had one, my fingers are aolways in the cookie jar HA HA HA
I guess its a way to say goodbye to the single life and the wedding party is to usher in a new and stronger life.
Strippers are a bonus
Now let me finish nursing my hangover. Just kidding... I had three drinks last night over a period of six hours.
My ex's "so called friends" took him to a strip club and one of the dancer's french kissed his ear and rubbed up against him. Gaaaak! He didn't tell me that for several years after we were married. I told him he was a nutcase, turned out he really was.
but i agree with the others that greg respects you enough not to do anything stupid...although i'm thinking that my answer to this is a little late, because i think today was the big day??? :)
Happy New Year !
I told Mr. C that if we do ever get married, I'd love to fly our wedding party out to Vegas for our bachelor/ bachelorette parties. Not sure if it would happen, but I'm sure it'd be something we'd never forget!
On a totally unrelated note: my daughter's name is Aleta. It's also my sister's name and my aunt's name. Hard to find anybody else in the world with this name, which is one reason I love it so.
Best,
KJ
http://fragrantliar.blogspot.com
I hope you are having a great new year.