Letter to my son

Dear Son,

Aunt Didi and Uncle Bruce came to visit with Oma and Opa.  Oma heard you whisper, "I'm confused."  You walked by and said it again.  Then you walked into the room and announced, "I'm confused."  Oma asked you why.  You said, "I'm confused by you and you and you and you."  Pointing to each of the adults in the room.  Oma realized that you were trying to understand the relationship.  You thought Om and Aunt Didi sounded a lot alike.  They hugged and said that they are sisters.  I'm not sure if you understand how Opa and Uncle Bruce are spouses to the sisters, but I'm delighted how you are trying to piece together the family tree.

A few mornings ago, you were working on your alphabet.  Daddy came into the room and commented on your letters.  You said with character, "Everybody is a critic."  Oh my gosh, it was the correct tone.  I busted out laughing.  I have no idea where you heard that from.  We don't say it at home.  You pick up on things and use it accordingly.

However, Daddy was correct that you need to write better.  You fuss about writing your name, address, phone number and alphabet.  But the reason you can do it quickly and with ease, is because you practice it frequently.  One morning you told me that you didn't want to write all of those things.

I replied, "Okay, you write half of it and then when we go to the pumpkin palooza, we only go to half of it."  You didn't like that idea.  You did your writing.  When it was time to read a story, you attempted it again, "Mommy, this is a long book.  Can I read only a few pages?"  I said, "You agreed yesterday that you would write and read all of your work before going to the pumpkin palooza."

You frowned, "Mommy, you are mad at me?"  I said, "No, I'm frustrated, but I'm not mad.  You are very smart and I'm proud of you.  However, would you like it if I went to the pumpkin palooza with you and complained the entire time?  Would you like it if I complained about it being too hot or the games taking too long or the car ride too long to take you or it was boring and I didn't want to be there?  Would it make it fun for you?"

You understood, "It would make me sad if you did that."  I continued, "Being negative, even when you do something, makes things sad when it should be enjoyable.  You are doing great with reading and writing.  But you fight me on it."  You said "Not all the time."  No, not all the time, but today you are.  You apologized and no problems after that.  How long will that last is yet to be seen, but I'm seeing an understanding of attitude and how it affects a situation from you.  It's not an easy life lesson to learn.

School work isn't just at home.  Oma has been tutoring you 2 hours every day as well.  You shocked both of us when you took a "sample test" Oma found online that is meant for 1st graders.  For each picture, the student has to pick from three words to match the picture.  You did an entire page, filling in the small circle option - you did a great job.  You told Oma that you needed help on two pictures, because you didn't know what the puck or fig was...  To be able to pick the correct word means that you have to read all three words and choose the correct option. I'm so proud of you!

Oma is also teaching you greater than and less than symbols with numbers.  You understand it until there are two digits involved.  You want to base the answer on the last number, rather than the first.  Oma used the abacus to help you visualize the difference of the numbers.  It might be too soon to show you the greater and less than in numeric form, but it's excellent exposure to the math concept.

Through this process, Oma recognized that you don't have a good grasp of the teen numbers.  She took out a number chart and gave one to us to use at home for you as well.  You can count to 100 by 10's and you can count high without making mistakes, but the visual recognition is lacking.  Another area that needs help is the value of coins.  We need to work with that on you again.  Daddy worked with you before, but a 4 1/2 year old mind doesn't retain things.  Part of the learning process is repetition.

Does it sound like all that gets done is school work?  No, sweet boy, there's always time for fun stuff too!  Such as plenty of projects at home, bats and black cats and even a few Christmas projects in the making.  This is the start of the holidays!

Oma and Mommy took you to the Kehoe France trunk or treat.  As we pulled up, you said, "I went to school here when I was little."  Yes, you did.  You went to Kehoe France for the summer before you started St. Augustine's preschool.  The trunk or treat was a lot of fun - many vehicles were there, decorated to the hilt.  You received lots of toys and candy.  There was a DJ playing music and you weren't shy about getting on the dance floor, even grabbing Oma and Mommy to move to the music too!  Oma was impressed with your confidence.  You love music.  After more trunk or treating and a hay ride, we called it a night.

And yes, we did make it to the Pumpkin Palooza at St. Augustine's.  You loved it!  This will be a tradition, even when you start kindergarten at another school.  It's the first time we went to the palooza, since it's normally when we go on vacation.  Last year, Mrs. Becky said, "I'm sorry he won't be here for the performance."  I didn't know the kids had a performance at the palooza, so this year, when planning a vacation ... I made sure we weren't going to be out of town for the palooza!  Oma came with us.  You started off the fun with face painting, a pumpkin, on your cheek.  The courtyard was filled with kid games, offering opportunities of treats and trinkets.  We went all the way around the courtyard and you had a blast.  Any time that you had an option of candy versus toys, you went for the toys.

Being at St. Augustine's was a comfort.  We love the area, the church, the feeling of the community.  Inside Byrd Hall a cake walk was hosted, where Mommy donated two cakes.  We didn't win, but it was fun.  However, because you wanted to look at the prizes, the lady said, "Let's check to see if any of you won."  Mommy won a door prize!  So, you were able to pick a prize after all.

After eating a hot dog and drinking some water, all very reasonably priced, it was time for your class performance.  You sang 5 songs; it was so adorable.  Nobody cried or ran off the stage or got out of line.  You were so animated, moving your arms on cue to the words taught.  Too precious.  This is your only time doing this performance, as we missed it last year.  This is the last year at St. Augustine's, so even if we go to the palooza again, it won't be you in the performance.  I'm so glad we went.  Mommy video'd it and posted it on Facebook.  A couple of the parents shared it on their wall.

From the pumpkin palooza to the convention center.  Opa drove us, because he said the parking might be a nightmare.  You helped Oma and Mommy pick out books from the library book sale.  The prices were great, ranging fifty cents to one dollar each.  You were delighted to look at the books and announce, "This is my Favorite!"  You said this a number of times as you took the books to our cart.  I looked at another parent and said, "I'm not complaining, because at least he is showing a love of reading!"  Though this did cause Oma and  Mommy to have to sort through what we would actually buy.  We primarily looked for the reader and leap frog series books.

This particular day was not over for you.  Our neighbors down the street were having a Halloween party!  Daddy spent Friday and Saturday helping the neighbors put up the haunted maze, which was huge.  The neighbors had fantastic plans and a ton of decorations.  Daddy also brought decorations from our home for them to use as well as the various masks that Daddy likes such as the werewolf and horse mask.

The kids loved the masks and took turns scaring each other.  You were the second to youngest, but you held your own.   You ran through the maze, got your face painted (batman on the other cheek), ate some chicken and then back running through the maze.  Lights were strung at the top of the maze, giving it an eerie glow. When the fuze blew, the lights went out.  We heard you telling the kids, "It's okay, follow me.  It's okay."  You helped the kids out of the maze, then the lights came back on.

You were brave, but you were also surprised when Williams' daddy reached through the cuts in the maze to grab you from the other side.  You screamed, then said, "You scared my daylights out of me!"

It was a fun, long day.  I'm glad it was short walk home, then bath and bed for you!

Another fun thing I enjoyed taking you to is the Rouses's kids class.  I found out about it via following various businesses in the area on Facebook.  It was the first time we went to the class.  With about 20 kids, you fit in perfectly.  I found out that they have classes once, sometimes twice, a month.  The cost various from 10-15 dollars and last about an hour and a half.

The chef mixes everything at one table, while the kids watch.  Chef Sally will call upon the older kids to measure and pour.  Even though you aren't doing the mixes, etc, it's a great education experience for you to see blenders.. to try new things, such as pumpkin mixed into mac and cheese and the cool green muffins are made from spinach and bananas.  No matter what we teach you at home, receiving experiences like this helps to reinforce what we show you.  It was fun and you loved it.  I hope to bring you to more classes like this.

One thing is for certain, you are not shy.  Around the table, taller kids were to the front.  You squeezed yourself to the front.  One kid pushed you.  You pushed back.  I held my breath, prepared to interrupt.  The kid pushed you again.  You pushed back, again.  Both of you settled into sharing the space.  You were determined to see what was happening and nobody was going to stop you.  I said to another mother, "I'm surprised he doesn't get into trouble at school."  It was interesting to watch your behavior from the audience.  Parents were there, of course, but not to participate.

You were in the mix of things. So what that you didn't know anyone there, if someone was having a spoon war, you were in the middle of it.  If someone had an icing color to decorate the muffin, you wanted it as well.  You shared, but it was with determination.  You would not be left out.  I didn't have to do any battles for you, my boy.  It was all good fun and a good experience.

Before leaving, you saw a boy with a container to bring home his muffin.  We looked around for the Chef Sally to ask for one, but she wasn't there.  We put your muffin on a plate and went to the car.  You held the plate carefully in your hands.  As I was driving, I looked to the back.... the muffin was gone, but you were still holding on to that plate!  I asked what happened to the muffin.  You said, "I ate it."

I said, "Gregory, no way did you eat that entire muffin.  What happened!"  Your voice was almost a squeak.. "Mommy, you're going to get mad."  I almost laughed at the sound, "Gregory, I don't like it when you lie.  Did the muffin fall?  Just tell me the truth."

"Yes, Mommy, the muffin fell.  Please don't get mad."  I asked you when it happened.  You said it happened as soon as I made a turn.  I said, "I guess we should have found a container.  We'll do that next time."  Your voice was filled with relief, "Yes, we should have done that."  I was able to find the muffin and clean the mess.  It wasn't much and certainly, nothing to get mad about.

The weather has been so odd.  We went from highs in the 80's to highs in the 60's.  During the week it was in between... Thursday was lovely.  We picked that day to work on cleaning the backyard.  Goodness it was a mess.  You take care of feeding the cats outside in the morning, but the plates from the food were out there.  Yuck.  You picked it up and hopefully will learn a lesson not to leave them there in the future.  We also straightened up things as best as possible.  We put out more decorations in the front yard too.  On Friday, Daddy helped us weed out the side of the backyard.  I think it's the best it's looked in a long time.

On Saturday you woke me up, "Today you are not Mommy.  Today you are Birthday Girl!  Happy birthday, birthday girl."  Aw, so sweet.  You and Daddy really come through for Mommy on this birthday celebration.  Mommy would not have had a birthday party, except that you exclaimed, "Mommy, you always have a party for me.  You must have a party too."  Then you also asked for a costume party... hence, then combination of the two  - Birthday, Costume party.

You told me, "Mommy, even though it was your birthday, you had something for me too... the bounce house!"  I said, "That's true.  Mommy also had something for Daddy.  I made sure we had meat pies and muffuletta at the party, because those are Daddy's favorites.  We did things for each other, as a family."

I wasn't expecting such a turn out with so many festivals and craft fairs going on that weekend.  The weather was perfect and cool (it was the day after being in the 80's, then it plummeted into the 60's - yeah for the cool weather!).  The party was a huge success.  I was amazed at how many people came to my party from a variety of life - from family to long time friends to neighbors on my street and neighbors from my parents' street and church friends and Gregory's current and past friends, some of which don't go to St. Augustine's preschool any more.

37 people came, which is amazing considering I didn't send out formal invitations.

Before the party started, you said, "Mommy, if nobody shows up to your party, I will make Lego people for your party."  I can't ask for a more beautiful expression of love.

The party was a success because of love and friendship.  The conversations were easy and relaxed.  The kids played in the bounce house; Daddy counted 19 of them at one time all in the bounce house.   Another blessing is that the bounce house was lent to us from Oma's neighbors and good friends.

You gave me a sweet gift.  The day before my birthday, you ran to Oma and said, "I have the PERFECT gift for Mommy!"  In school, Scarlett celebrated her birthday.  On her cupcakes she had princess rings.  You cleaned off the ring and gave it to me on my birthday.  I kept it on for the entire party.

So many blessings to count on such a wonderful day, even at the end of the day.  With the bounce house belonging to a friend, we wanted to take good care of it and return it back to them the same day of the party.  We all worked on getting the air out and rolling the house into a tube.  Daddy and Mommy were trying to figure out how we could get the house into Mommy's SUV, when a stranger drove up.  He said, "I live three streets away and am visiting a friend on your street.  Do ya'll need some help?"  Absolutely!  Within seconds the house was loaded and ready to be returned.  Wow, prayers answered to our need.

Yesterday was so wonderful.  Daddy said that "mommy glowed" with happiness.  How could I not?  It was a fun party.  Rob and Roda called after the party to say Happy Birthday.  My brother asked, "Aleta, when was the last time you had a birthday party like that, a costume party?  Was it when you turned Sweet 16?"  That's right... and he remember that he dressed as a vampire, I was a witch, Opa was a clown and Oma was a flapper dancer.  Oh, the memories!  I'm 48 years old.  It took you, my son, saying, that I needed a party.... all this time later in life.. you brought back my childhood to me.

Daddy asked me this afternoon if my birthday weekend was fun.  Yes, indeed, including today!  We went with Oma to Sunday school.  You love attending Sunday school!  Mrs. Catherine was the teacher today.  The lesson was about how God loves everyone and He wants us to love everyone too... even if someone is mad or upset.  Mrs. Catherine gave each child a heart to decorate and to give to someone else.  You gave your heart to me and Kenzley, another girl in Sunday school (and also in your preschool) gave her heart to you (which the teacher gave to her, to give to her family later). Then we went to the pumpkin patch to pick out pumpkins to decorate.  It was a lot of fun!

After lunch with Oma and Opa and Daddy, we rushed to the Kids painting class.  I'm tickled we made this class, because it was Halloween based.   You said, "Mommy, paint with me!"  So, I picked out a project to do as well.  You painted a skull pirate and Mommy painted two pumpkins.  It was relaxing and fun to share painting with you.  It was also cool, because they played Halloween music and handed out candy to the kids.

Tonight we went to the St. Matthew trunk or treat, which is down the street from Oma and Opa's house.  We walked over and Oma was greeted twice by, "Mrs. Grimball, is that you?!"  I jokingly tell my mom that I can't take her anywhere without someone knowing her.  I love how Oma had more than just two children.. as a teacher of 37 years, she has reached hearts and minds of countless children, that to this day cherish her.  What an incredible gift to this world.  I'm grateful Oma is my mom, your grandmother and an awesome teacher.

This birthday weekend is one to treasure.  When the candles were light and kids surrounded the table, I asked, "Can you help me blow out the candles?"  Everyone was so eager to do so, including you.  I shared my wishes with the kids.  Thank you for keeping me young, even though I made another trip around the sun... I feel younger than ever.

Love Always,
Mommy

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