Thursday, October 3, 2013

Do you Facebook

Facebook, do you use it?  

I did for a while, then I backed off for a while, but then family/friends became annoyed that I got off and I’m back on… but not really that active.  I’ll share pictures of my son, but I’m not so into the site.  I’d say some real pro’s for me – easy to share pictures to a group and it’s helped me connect with cousins and appreciate them a lot more than I might have had the opportunity otherwise.  Oh and fun groups, like the mommy groups and writers groups and jewelry maker groups and cake decorator groups.. but those are groups specific to my personal interest.  Again, all pro’s to Facebook.

But there’s a dark side to it too.  I’d get a glimpse of it from time to time.  The snarky comments, where someone leaves a comment and you KNOW it was directed at a specific person, but the poster doesn’t have the balls to come out and say it.  Sort of like a snicker in a high school hallway behind a kid’s back.

There’s the jealousy factor – post something and someone tries to one-up you – again, childish.  Or there’s the flat out bully techniques, where someone goes off on you for something you wrote or something you believe in.

And what’s a social media without the gossipers who have to watch and comment on whatever anyone else is saying or doing?

Did you know there are studies on the affects of Facebook?  I heard about it on a talk show – Facebook can cause… get this… depression and feelings of isolation.

All of the bully posts, the jealousy and cliques, the judgmental posts, the “I’m telling you something but not “saying” it but you KNOW I’m saying it to you” comments (cowards), the ugliness….. it’s forging feels of depression and isolation.

The very thing a social media shouldn’t be doing.  It should be an avenue of bringing people together.  That’s the blessing I’ve found in it – to realize just how nice some of my friends and relatives are and to be happy for what’s going on in their lives and support them when things aren’t so good.  It’s a quick “high five” or a “cyber hug” of compassion.

Instead, FB is making people feel it’s ok to post uglies because it’s not face to face.  Or to go into competition with someone and beat the Jones’s via the Internet.  It’s crazy.

You know what’s worse…..

Do you know the demographics of FB now and when the studies on FB were done?
The older generations.  Yes, you read that correctly.  All those childish behaviors?  That’s not coming from children – that’s coming from Adults – parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, great grandparents.  The “youth” group has moved away from FB, because too many adults started playing in their pond.  And what’s left?  

A bunch of adults with school yard mentalities.  Not everyone of course, but there’s enough to make a study about it.  Kind of scary… and I’m thinking…. 

Blogging is a much better place to be.  I’m glad I never gave up my blog for facebook.  I know there can be ugly comments or ugly posts in blogging, but it's not to the extent of FB, because it's not a fast place to post with a large number of people to read and respond.

Not to totally knock FB though, as I said earlier, there are pro's and I will focus on those... and the negatives..?  Ignore.  They aren't worth the time and trouble.  And I might laugh as I imagine them in a sandbox.


Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I'm on a lot because it's a good place for me to keep in touch since my blog is anonymous, but you are so right in this post!

Cheryl said...

I am probably in the same place you are as far as FB. I have an account and like to send birthday greeting, anniversary congrats and stuff to my extended family but I don't enjoy reading people's rants about politics or social issues. Not that I necessarily agree or disagree but usually their point is more vindictive in spirit and not always very factual.

I think the premise of keeping up with friends and family members pivotal moments is nice but there is just so much "verbal garbage".

The other problem with FB is that it NOT anonymous. When you let people on they have access to all your family's names, locations, and such. While my regular readers of my blog tend to know my real last name because we have communicated by my email address that is clearly posted on my blog. So, for the most part, it's not so much that I am protective of my privacy but I am not sure that it is fair for me to invite others onto FB where they see my husband's, children's, niece's, nephew's etc. activities and see their posts and updates.

I consider it a shame that Twitter and Facebook seem to be eroding the popularity of blogs. People have a short attention span and like the quick and easy reads of that type of social media. Reading blogs takes time but the payoff is that you get to KNOW people, and learn at a lot more depth the opinions of others.

Natalie said...

FB is a tricky beast...great to connect with those far away...but also the dark side of mean comments and people hiding behind computers instead of handling their problems like adults and doing a face-to-face conversation or confrontation.

Deborah Rohne said...

In the past, I have said that FaceBook is just another way for me to be rejected by society. Will people comment on my post? How many will "like" my post or picture? Will it be more people than commented or liked someone else's post. It becomes a competition as well as a real downer for the ego. Even so, I have not taken the plunge and deactivated my account, because there are still family members I like to connect with through this social media means. A warning, matter how locked down you think your account is, it is still apparently visible to ALL who have figured out a way to look. Found that out earlier this year!

The Forscheins said...

You are very right. Facebook is a great way to get that "cyber high-five" or simply keep up with those across the miles. But I get caught feeling "not enough" by it a lot of times too. Everybody posts only the best. And the best of their world is automatically what one compares to the worst of their own world. By which only negative feelings could be the outcome. I keep seeing "health posts" from moms around me who have started to sell Arbonne and/or BeachBody and they're showing pictures of cars/vacations the company has given them and trying to get their friends to sign up under them. It makes me feel like I should do it also since it's, as they claim, such an easy way for stay-at-home moms to make financial independence happen for their families. At the same time though, I know I am not at heart a sales person. It doesn't come easy for me to make small talk, let alone to sell or start to use my personal Facebook page to persuade people to buy from me or as they put it "to inspire them to change their lives for the better". Pffff.... what a tricky (cyber) world we live in. Meanwhile keep posting pictures of your sweet smiling son and keep blogging please! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Leah said...

You are so right. I have a personal page and am not active on it. But, I enjoy the feeds to see what people are up too - the positive feeds, i should say. I love seeing glimpses of some old friends, their kids, what they are up too. I am always SHOCKED when I see the snarky commens - but they are there. Sadly.

Cyndy @ Back in the Bush said...

Kinda funny...I don't have a lot of problems on FB, probably because I ignore a lot? But one of the biggest problems I've ever had was from an ELDERLY lady I used to go to church with! She was just hateful and when I would log on and post several things within a short time she would literally post something telling me I'm hogging the internet and to save some for everyone else! Another time, my husband was at work and I posted something to him and she said "OH MY GOD just walk into the next room and tell him!!" I finally told her off, as politely as possible...told her for her information my husband was not there but even if he were I could and would post what I want, when I wanted! I then deleted her, and she apologized and asked to be my friend again, but no thanks. I feel sorry for her, I think she's a little unbalanced, but I don't need that kind of drama!

larkswing said...

Funny, I have thought so much about this the past couple weeks. And thought how much more I enjoyed blogs. The jumping back in gets put off, but I miss the connections with internet friends, probably more than I would miss the FB connections (wait, there is a lack of connection). I feel much more comfortable commenting on a blog than I do on FB. Glad I decided to go through blogs and read away today. Thank you for this post.