Monday, October 24, 2011

Question 20 - Fear

Question 20 - Your fears

Abadonment. This is a childhood one that haunts me. I can recognize it from that tickle in my throat or tears that want to gather when I feel the abandonment emotion creep up. And it creeps up at the oddest times and when I really do know better.

Mom and I talked about this years and years ago. We traced my emotion back to when we lived at Green Acres Road (this was before I was in the second grade). My brother was in the hospital. He had pneumonia 9 times and that last time, he had to be put into an "oxygen tent."

My parents sent me to my grandparents to stay with while they stayed with my brother in the hospital. My grandparents lived about 2 hours away. In a child's mind it might as well have been a world away. I stayed with my grandparents for a little over 2 weeks. In a child's mind, it might as well have been forever.

So, see, I know the reason, the cause. I understand it and it's a rarity to feel it. But it licks at the back of my mind every now and then. PMS can bring it on if I let it, you know, those emotions that have no rhyme or reason. But mostly, it's just a ghost of a fear.

Otherwise, keep snakes away, though I'll hold one if it's not poisonous. Heck, I held a gator and a lion cub. I'm not afraid of heights. Yep, abandonment is it. It kind of feels weird to share that...

Oh and I don't like scary movies :) They give me nightmares :)

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