The Awakening

Kristen, a friend that I've known for 30 years, and I were discussing the past and how life has changed over the years. She sent me an email with a poem she wrote and I asked if I could post it on my blog. With her permission....

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As I was cleaning out my desk this weekend, I came across my very first poem I wrote about 10 years ago. It is a very important poem to me and I am so glad I ran across it again as it reminds me that I am okay with who I have become.

The Awakening

I awake from a distorted conscientious dream,
I am no longer blind as to what life seems,

Haunting visions of the past,
How long does torture last,

Realizing the trials that have been since birth
Has contributed to what I am now worth,

I look forth with deep eyes so bold,
What’s my mystic future to hold?


Some who know me may know that I have experienced some dark paths along my way and was lost in life at some points. As I turned my life around and started on a better path, I was always ashamed of my past and one day it hit me - I would not be who I am today if I had not experienced those dark paths. I think it has made me a better person in the long run. I find I am more open and empathetic for others.

I feel sad for people who are so afraid of their own past. I don't think a person can ever gain full happiness unless they are able to embrace their past fully. If a person feels the need to hide their past from the present, then paranoia of people finding out may set in and is not very good for the psyche.

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Aleta again... To me, Kristen is a dear friend, just about as close to a sister as I could be fortunate to have. We both have Fontenot lineage and I still believe somewhere down the line, we're 14th or 15th cousins. Lol. She's been a rock in my storms of life and she has a heart of gold. I don't see the dark paths of her life... I guess I've always focused on the light that shines from within her. She made some good points ~ it's good to know and understand where you come from, but it doesn't have to define who you are today. People worry about their past and worry about what people know or don't know about them. (I'm going to come back to that in another post, because it relates to an audio book Greg and I are listening to.)

Thank you, Kristen, for sharing what you have and for being the wonderful friend that you are. *hugs* Earlier this month I attended Kristen's grandfather's funeral service. She gave the eulogy and shared how she would visit her grandfather after school. She spoke of how her grandfather would give lectures and oh, she wanted to find a way to get away quickly from those lectures.. now treasures the memories, because he spoke out of care and concern and with strength of character. When Kristen sat back down in the pews, the afternoon sun softly filtered through the stained glass windows in the church. It left a gentle glow on the audience. Then as the minister spoke of her grandfather's "legacy of love" the church bells rang... I thought, "When you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings." Kristen remarked later than she got chills (the good kind) when the bells rang. It was one of those moments....