Gossip Spoils
One of my blogger friends mentioned that she might be the topic of negative gossip because of unrealistic expectations. My response was..
"People who have expectations that are unrealistic are often ones who are trying to hide their own faults by blaming someone else. Sadly, there's not much one can do other than keep your head up and don't let the disappointment of unrealistic expectations bring you down!"
She sent an email back to me that said she liked the response and would keep it with her. I thought I'd expand on it for a moment.
I'm not talking about the type of gossip that goes on where you catch up on what's going on or talk about positive things and share. This is the type of gossip that is down and dirty ugly, the kind that is meant to step on someone. I thought about her situation and about situations I've been in ~ I've always believed that the negative things in life are by-products of the truth, a reaction to the truth. In her instance, the person who was doing the gossip was in the wrong and it was easier to "rewrite history" via gossip so that the fault wouldn't be correctly placed.
When we know what we're up against and understand it, sometimes it makes it easier to handle - not the person - but our own reactions. We don't have to feel worried about the gossip if we know WHY it's coming out and can keep our chin up and keep going. When someone stands firm amidst gossip, it makes the gossip-er less believable. Actions speak louder than words. We don't need to be pulled down by negative actions if we stay true to ourselves.
Sometimes people use gossip for power, if not to bring another person down, then to build a wall of "knowledge" up. To know more means that you are less likely to be hurt, because you know enough to be prepared. This type of gossip isn't meant to hurt anyone, but it can hurt if the power of knowledge becomes the source and reason for sharing, using it as a tool for friendship.
Maybe this is one of the reasons I like to blog and journal. It's my history ~ my point of view... and I'm writing it. Someone else can write his/her history, but he/she can't rewrite mine when it's already penned.
So, what's your take on gossip? Have you ever been the recipient of rewritten history?
"People who have expectations that are unrealistic are often ones who are trying to hide their own faults by blaming someone else. Sadly, there's not much one can do other than keep your head up and don't let the disappointment of unrealistic expectations bring you down!"
She sent an email back to me that said she liked the response and would keep it with her. I thought I'd expand on it for a moment.
I'm not talking about the type of gossip that goes on where you catch up on what's going on or talk about positive things and share. This is the type of gossip that is down and dirty ugly, the kind that is meant to step on someone. I thought about her situation and about situations I've been in ~ I've always believed that the negative things in life are by-products of the truth, a reaction to the truth. In her instance, the person who was doing the gossip was in the wrong and it was easier to "rewrite history" via gossip so that the fault wouldn't be correctly placed.
When we know what we're up against and understand it, sometimes it makes it easier to handle - not the person - but our own reactions. We don't have to feel worried about the gossip if we know WHY it's coming out and can keep our chin up and keep going. When someone stands firm amidst gossip, it makes the gossip-er less believable. Actions speak louder than words. We don't need to be pulled down by negative actions if we stay true to ourselves.
Sometimes people use gossip for power, if not to bring another person down, then to build a wall of "knowledge" up. To know more means that you are less likely to be hurt, because you know enough to be prepared. This type of gossip isn't meant to hurt anyone, but it can hurt if the power of knowledge becomes the source and reason for sharing, using it as a tool for friendship.
Maybe this is one of the reasons I like to blog and journal. It's my history ~ my point of view... and I'm writing it. Someone else can write his/her history, but he/she can't rewrite mine when it's already penned.
So, what's your take on gossip? Have you ever been the recipient of rewritten history?
Comments
Catching up on old school chums or hearing that she/he got married, the "good" side of gossip. I par take in. But, otherwise, I don't think it's fair. And it's not like you can defend yourself. Usually, when word of someone escapes another mouth, generally four out of five times, the truth or the lie, becomes far more detailed and outragious. Like that game, where you stand in a line, say a sentence and pass it on, and the person at the very end says something completely different then the original sentence.
You can't fight a lie, and you can't fight gossip. I agree with you, chin up and walk forward...
It's good in the sense that coffee shop gossip mills are the fastest and easiest way to get important information out to the community.
It's bad in that malicious gossip is hard to counteract and undeservedly hurts a number of people.
And yes, as a public figure I have been the attempted victim of re-written history on several occasions. But you know what? I find that the truth wins out if you just stand up and are honest.
The proverbial two-edged sword anyone?
The boat. Of every relationship. Of every soul. Of every equation. It provides instant gratification and long term pain.
Yet, its not going away in a hurry. We need to take it in our stride and walk !
And take care to stay away from it all.
insightful
"Maybe this is one of the reasons I like to blog and journal. It's my history ~ my point of view... and I'm writing it. Someone else can write his/her history, but he/she can't rewrite mine when it's already penned."
...is exactly why I write too.
I love that!
The recent probable victim of high expectations, I am not sure if there are negative gossip, is Obama! Everybody has such high expectations, not just US citizens but several thousands across globe.
Vivek
Stepping down of the soapbox now.
Helen