Lesterism

I thought I’d share some emails with you.


What you are about to read is not gibberish. It IS umm… English ~ It’s a Lesterism.

Here’s an email from Dad to Greg:

“LISSEN UP,, I BIN YAKIN TO GAY'S BRUDA SUNNY OUT IN CALIF THE SHAKE N BAKE PLACE BOUT JUMPIN OUT YUNDA DURIN BIRD DAY IN NOV , SUSPEC LEAVE RUND SAT OR SUN 4 THANKSGIVIN N COME BAC ON THAT FRIDAY OR SAT AFTA

SO IS YA OPEN I KNOW I STOLE YA FRUM YA MAMA LAST YR N I DANG SHUR DUNT WUNNA GIT ON HER BAD SIDE,, SHEESH ,, I DUN HERD AWFUL THINGS BOUT UDAS WHO DUNNIT ,, SO LET ME NO YA THOUGHTS ,, SO I KIN RED YA THE RITE ACT ,,
HEHEHE,,

LADA”

Are you lost? Greg forwarded Dad’s message to his Mom and she responded with:

“If you're asking if I would mind if you go to California during Thanksgiving
week, go and enjoy.

However, can you explain one part I don't understand? "I dun heard awful
things bout udas who dunnit". Translate, please.”


Greg wrote back:

“LOL You should see the smile on my face right now. One of Lester's
traits is his "good ole'country boy/coon-ass charm". He is always sending
out these emails in his unique lingo. He does this with EVERYBODY he has a relationship with... I mean EVERYBODY it doesn't matter if you are a
car dealer, his banking people, attorneys, employees, and especially
family... everybody. I wish I could explain half of what he writes...
sometimes I have to get Aleta to help translate it too. I have no idea to
what he is referring to... but rest assured.. its nothing about you or our
family’s Thanksgiving traditions. Just know this... if you get an email from
him like this... you’re "in" his circle of people.”


Greg wrote back to my Dad:

“Ok Big felluh.
I herd frum mah maw n she sed its ok to be stoled, smuggled and shang-hyde to da “liposuction, botox, face lift, breast implant, bolemic forse-pukin” capitul of da world. But if I com bak with any of dem aforemenshund trates ….she gonna, “kik yer dunky cuntinuusly til you enz up bak dere fasta den u ken say “Tofu-Turky”.”





Dad:

“OMG,,,,,I TALE YA I SUM DANG SKEEEEEEERED, I HERD THATS AWFUL PAINFUL N UH I NOT NTO PAIN SPECAILLY MY OWN SO YA KIN BETCHA YA NOTA GUNA GIT NUTIN, MAY JUS LOCK YA UP N A BOX N KEPT YA N THE DARK THE HOLE TIME

TALE YA MUM THANKS , N I WUNT KIDNAP NO MO ON BIRD DAY , I NO WHAT ITS LIKE WIN YA TAK THE MAIN BIRD EATA AWAY N YA GOTA EAT BIRD FUR A MO CAUSE SUM SUCKA DID THAT SHEESH , NUFF TO GO TURKEY HUNTIN ,,



I just love how Greg gets my Dad! I’ve often smiled and enjoyed Dad’s emails and messages to people. You have to know my Dad. He loves life and he loves to make people laugh.

Oh, and my Dad ~ he writes beautiful and I do mean, beautiful, poetry. Mostly about my Mom, he calls her “his princess of the rose garden.”