Dead Bodies

So you might know by now that Greg likes to joke around with the waiters and waitresses. Greg used to be a restaurant manager; he appreciates the hard work it requires and finds it second nature to joke with those in the same line of business.

We went to Applebee’s yesterday; our drink request was Diet Coke.

The Waitress asked, “Is Diet Pepsi OK?”

To which Greg answered, “Sure, if I can pay with Monopoly Money!”

She laughed and said, “That’s a first. Monopoly Money, I haven’t heard of that before.”

It became a running joke at our table, that she would turn the glass sideways so he didn’t see the word Pepsi.

Greg was on a roll, as he saw our waitress approach the table, he remarked loudly, “Shhhh, here she comes, stop talking about her.” Of course, we were doing nothing of the sort and she knew it.

At another point, she was taking the order from the table behind us. We were talking about the television Greg just bought. He said, “Thank you for being my calming agent.” I was glad to do so. After returning two televisions and two stands, Greg was ready to call it quits on getting a new TV. I went with him to the last two stores and he was able to find what he wanted. I didn’t help much, but just being there is sometimes all a person needs. Anyway, as the waitress approached to see how our meal was, Greg said really loudly, “And WHERE exactly did you bury the bodies?!”

The waitress couldn’t even ask us how we were doing, she looked, laughed really hard and had to turn around to leave! She later came back and said, “My manager is laughing back there after I told her about the burying the bodies comment!”

Reminds me of a trip we took to Tennessee.. Here’s snippet of the journal I wrote back then….


Leafers, Dead Bodies, Cabins and Waterfalls
~ Sevierville, Tennessee Trip, October 2006


We drove the majority of the way in one day, but stopped for the night singing the namesake of “Chattanooga Choo Choo.” The morning greeted us with fresh air and a panoramic visual of mountains on every side. The workweek washed away as the serene atmosphere offered peace and quiet. We ventured to the Cherokee national forest and walked through an Indian reservation. The path was pretty, but we felt that the buildings were too contrived. Then again, we were Leafers, in search of nature adorning her fall bouquet.

Our scenic route, via Greg's GPS, took us on an attraction in and of itself, offering pullovers as the road meandered along a tumbling creek. We followed a sign for camping sites via a road not paved and dense with lowland forest canopy. When we found an area that was close to the creek, Greg pulled over. Weathered roots and rocks were our playgrounds as we made it to the water. I have to admit that I'm grateful Greg talked me into getting hiking shoes! They were perfect for this trip.


With the windows down and the rooftop open, we turned back to his SUV and down the path we came. I must have been in la-la land, because when Greg yelled out, “There was a dead body! Did you see that?!” I thought for sure he was joking. I looked at him with a “yeah, right” face and he said, “I'm not kidding.” The expression he returned was incredulous as he put the vehicle in reverse. At first glance, I said, “No, that's just trash in the water, something blue.”

And then, I saw it, two boots at the end of the fabric and I could make out a human figure floating but not moving. “Oh My God!” It wasn't just ONE body, it was TWO floating in the water. And NO, I am NOT kidding, there were bodies floating in the river, faces down, bodies not moving but for the current pushing them into the riverbank! All those horror movies and news on the television about people dumping bodies in the river came rushing through my mind.

It took a second for us to realize that those were the two men we had passed along the side of the road. We saw their snorkels in the water and knew they were OK. But, tell me, WHO snorkels in inches of water? The water was as clear as could be and they couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 inches in the water, if that! We laughed for a good while, looking at each other and saying, “Dead Bodies!” Greg even commented, “I was trying to figure out how to get a message to 911 because we didn't have any bars on the cell phone.” Ah, that got the blood pumping!


There's more from the trip journal, maybe I'll share it at another time, but I couldn't resist the memory.